that's what penises do
they tell lies.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
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