Sponge bath it is.
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
Randomize
