Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
They've started ranking girls from "paper-bag" to "I just came." Please come get me
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
I downloaded the presidential playlists for offline listening. And Obama made a night one so we have presidential approved fuck jamzzzzz. Thanks Obama!
Please come check out theses cougars grinding on a pole. I feel like they're showing us up and we need a duel stat
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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