I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Is it inappropriate to match with someone on tinder just to ask if the friend in his profile picture is single?
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
