then she made me sanitize my hands before fingering her...i may have found my soulmate
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
do you want me to tag you in the pics from the party?
Hmm. Use your judgment. Bootlicking pics are probably not ok. Otherwise fine.
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
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