how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
I'm drinking Leinenkugel through a Red Vine. I'm not drunk. I'm just happy with my life so far.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I found where he bartends and I guarantee you that in approximately nine months from this Friday, you will have a niece
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
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