remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
