cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
I just canoed to the bar. I am a skilled drunk paddler.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can HEAR him staring at your boobs.
FALSE ALARM! I didn't piss myself, I fell asleep in the shower and then drunkingly crawled into my bed
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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