Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
I just came out of my doctor's office and i look into the window and i see a guy sitting in the front seat getting head.
why are you so shocked? you live in brooklyn.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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