So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Randomize
