ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
No it's only my right leg that feels like it's about to fall off. The left is fine.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
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