Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
You are the jesus of drinking
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
