What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Just the amount of girls he locked himself in my room woth says your gonna have to take a cab bro. I don't think he's going anywhere
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I've had more sex since the twins moved in than I'd had in the previous four years. They are the best wingman ever.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I have two choices: tits or tacos. I just can't decide.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
Randomize
