ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
Wow... that's disturbing man, and their not even my balls
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
This tiny Canadian guy just tipped me $20, a piece of gum, and a joint. I wasn't working. He literally tipped me for talking to him.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
God I need to hump something, right now.
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
