What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
I was getting sick from all the peanut butter I had to lick off
Stop bitching. YOU SHOULD FEEL BLESSED TO HAVE LICKED PEANUT BUTTER OFF OF THESE TOTTERS
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
Randomize
