I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
I'm so hungover i just sang the alphabet to see if "Z" comes after "W"
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
We're in ER. He's high on morphine and I'm drunk. Gonna score some bed pans for jello shots.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
If i'm forever fucked up in this state of mind then I'm going to kill him for this
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
