i friday night watching house. god, i need a life, friends, and a legitimate fake id.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I woke up naked, with 10 visible bite marks and a black eye. I'm just going to assume that it was a good night.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
His grandma held his dogs so they wouldn't follow me out the door. It was like a whole new level added to my walk of shame.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
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