I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
Pretty sure I picked a cat up off the street and took him home with me, fed him tuna, then let him go
Dave called me blind fucking drunk thinking he was going to die from drinking with drake bell(wtf?) saying "it's all that drake motherfucker's fault" and later proceeded to tell me "you are my twitter"
you told me your favorite colors were "pink" "no pants" and "Mexican food"
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
Swimming turned traumatic when grampas shorts slipped off..
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Randomize
