you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
we went to that german restaurant and drank out of the boots. Then I threw up into one
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
You tried to get the stranger on the sea bus to give you a bite of his chicken sub by repeating over and over "im in a girl band"
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
It was so cute that he apologized for getting cum on my couch. If he realized how many guys had cum on that couch in the past year, he wouldn't have touched my vagina with a 10-ft pole.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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