now i know why i became what i already was.
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
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