took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
He's throwing up in my bed and I'm not even getting fucked for this
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
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