no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I found my underwear on the sidewalk 8 blocks from her house while on my walk of shame. I also found our beer bag and a full beer in the bush.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Woke up at noon, still drunk, naked, with another girl next to me. When she wakes up, I'm gonna have my SECOND lesbian experience with her. How's your 2015 going?
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize
