I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
remember.. you're not a homewrecker.. you're just creating options for him..
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
Randomize
