you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
And the cops told us we were all naked.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
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