'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
Its okay, i dont mind you drinking, im just surrounded by it, there is some random dude laying on your couch with a bucket that ive never seen before
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
I don't mean to insult you, but did you leave your training bra in my bedroom last night?
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
I knew I wanted to marry her when we got in that bar fight and she full-nelsoned a guy while I worked his kidneys. I knew then we had to breed
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
Randomize
