I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
It was weird to see you drinking wine out a glass instead of a red cup today
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
This guy in church just had a prayer request to help him get through his hangover. He is my new hero.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sitting with my parents watching football and moaned when I saw his shirtless picture. They looked at me weird so I had to turn the moan into a laugh. A sad, really horny laugh.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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