This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
The gas station was closed so we found old PBR and played Edward Nalgene Hands instead
Come here I'm naked
And I want mozzarella sticks
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
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