ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
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And then she started grabbing onto random guys legs, asking their names, and if they wanted to be friends... Haha, I love when the girls my ex's are dating are total drunken whores.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
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we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
Randomize