I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
We are two peas in an std pod
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
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