It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
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Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
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It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
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