You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
