I'm eating all of the evidence.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Randomize
