I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
You love him. Dinosaurs. Math. Sex.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
Nothing sez sunday morning like waking up in a phonebooth with a leg cramp.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
Send help, water and tortillas.
I just want to have beer shits in my own bathroom. Is that too much to ask for?
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I informed him that we had less than 5 minutes left to live, and his first words were "I'm trying to think of a good They Might Be Giants quip"
Randomize
