Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
So we have also come to the conclusion that slam piece Saturday's are the appropriate follow ups to find a husband Fridays
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
