hotel room ftw
It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
I feel awful. The bartender added me on Facebook and there's chips all over the bathroom floor
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
how do do this?
do what? Keep standing? Choose between 2 guys?
keep making boys cry?
Randomize