whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
Randomize
