either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
Makes hanging out interesting when she lights you on fire just to roll ontop of you to 'put you out'.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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