After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I just woke up in his bed.. in a cardboard castle, with a Justin Bieber poster on the ceiling staring down at me, cuddling with 4 empty PBR cans. I win.
Randomize
