You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
Turns out you can't chew it over with twix in real life
Dude I've never seen anyone get slapped that hard
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My puke in the shower morning just turned into a puke in the restroom at work afternoon. I'm the human embodiment of dumpster fire.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
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