my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I wish I could go back in time 3 years and tell my freshman self how easy it is to hook up with freshmen
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
