Im at strip club and am horny
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
