It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Bachelor party turned 19 hour search and rescue in the mountains. nbd
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
My drug dealer is making me hot tea during the snowstorm...I'm a fan.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Randomize
