What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
