Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Its not that I'm getting free haircuts... Its just that she is paying for sex with haircuts...
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
She's blowing me while I'm watching air jaws. I love shark week.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
They sent him a photo of me smoking a bong whilst wearing the dinosaur head. I think that's the last we hear of his nonsmoking fitness freak ass 🤷🏼♀️
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
