fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
did we decide the 'sorry about the threesome' cake was too flippant?
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
