chris hansen is no longer pursuing child predators.let's celebrate
i'll bring the hard lemonade and lube
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
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