The maid of honor just puked.
It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
Job is the problem. Drinking, the solution.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
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The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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