Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
i just saw a man pushing two thirtys of beers in a stroller while his little kid ran to keep up. father of the year
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
Found the cure to anxiety attacks.
An orgasm
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
Randomize
