Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
He just referred to himself as a sharp shooter. I had sex with that.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
Randomize
