Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
honey bunches of taint.
I'm driving to work with an ice pack on my vagina. how was your weekend?
I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
first one here with a pint of chicken lo mein, aspirin, and diet green tea ginger ale, gets a full effort bj the day after tomorrow.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
Randomize
