I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Waking up to find your mom holding your birth control pills and telling you I suggest you take this
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
That Spanish guy who looks like Ben Affleck from that club we went to 3 weeks ago is still texting me.. He clearly doesn't remember what I look like.
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