i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
This makes me appreciate being single with no prospects.
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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