It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Fuck you and your widespread penis snapchat
The candles are lit, the magic circle is drawn, now all we need to do is get naked and see how many orgasms we can manage.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Don't get mad but There's blood everywhere and the only thing I remember is the bj from your cousin.
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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