im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
